Hi, friends! Sarah here for other blog, and I cannot believe its been just under a year since I've written. I'm a firm believer in not forcing content for the sake of content, and also living fully in whatever season one is in. I think the Lord knew this time last year that I would be entering into a very full and straining season, and giving myself in the area of content creation was not something that was healthy at the time. Not to mention I suck a prioritizing tasks. lol.
But here we are again, and I'm writing on the last day of my 28th year. If you're wondering, yes, I'm tragically dramatic about birthdays and am one of those girls who stay up till midnight and cry when the clock strikes twelve on my birthday. I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm both. I grieve the things that are frozen in a particular timeframe, and simultaneously marvel in the wonder and hope of another year of meeting new faces, seeing new places, and becoming a fuller version of myself. I still get shocked at the fact that I continue to grow older. I remember telling people in Kindergarten that my parents were 29, now thats me.
Growing older doesn't particularly bother me when it comes to vanity, rather, I have this raging fear of missing out: **cue Hamilton's My Shot** lol. It's like I already feel like there is not enough time to do and experience and live. Are there any other enneagram four's in the house?
When I get in this weird headspace, it's actually somewhat refreshing to zoom out of what could consider a morbid perspective and realize the fact that my life is not even about me. It's truly all about the Kingdom, and my minuscule part of a much greater whole I couldn't even imagine. This is a purely beautiful and freeing thing, and I am so grateful.
Its really cool and peaceful to be in a place where I have accepted that my life is not my own, yet I absolutely love who God made me to be. I don't mean this prideful, please don't misread my heart here, rather, I have come to truly admire the creator, and what he is capable of creating: people who laugh so hard that they cry, beautiful eyelashes, and keen senses of humor... the fact that hands can be held, fingernails can be painted, songs can be sung, and suntanning creates freckles.
Last year on my birthday, I wrote of the magic that is the hope of tomorrow, and I still love hope. I still believe and feel hope. I can say this on the other side of experiencing some really hopeless nights this past year. I think back on this past decade as it is drawing to an end and see a different girl, a different life, a different mindset, and a different way of seeing God. He is incredibly faithful and no cost to me, and He will continue to do so. This is pure grace, and this gives me so much more hope in tomorrow.
long phone calls with friends,